Relationships require mutual understanding and compromise, especially during times when one partner needs more support than the other. But consistently, when the entire burden of pushing the connection forward falls on one person, it can make them feel burned out and ‘taken for granted.’ They may also get the feeling of being ‘walked over’ constantly. Over time, this emotional imbalance may mean that one partner gives far more than they receive.
The relationship becomes one-sided when one partner consistently puts in more effort than the other. But when you are emotionally invested, it can be difficult to take off the rose-tinted glasses and see things as they are. To help recognise this imbalance, an expert explained what a one-sided relationship can look like.
In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Shireen Dargan, psychologist at Maarga Mind Care Gurugram, flagged the problems, “The problem arises when compromising with each other becomes unidirectional, and there is one who constantly bears the burden of making the relationship work.”
Why should you not blame yourself?
Looking back, you may blame yourself for not seeing it coming or for being too easy and allowing yourself to be a doormat. But the expert assured that there is no need to feel ashamed, as an imbalance where one partner takes on most of the effort is not always obvious from the beginning. It can develop gradually over time.
She said, “Such behavior may evolve gradually in the form of many small decisions. For example, one partner may always come to the other, plan a date, change plans, handle conflict situations, or compromise.”
5 signs of one-sided relationship
Here are the following signs, as shared by the psychologist, that showcase a one-sided relationship:
1. Someone is always the planner
- Decisions do not have to be split equally every time, but both partners should consistently make an effort.
- One person always decides where to meet, planning outings or initiating conversations about a date.
- Effort goes beyond money and time. One person is more emotionally available.
2. Adjustments tend to be one-sided
- One partner repeatedly adjusts their work schedule, travels long distances, or sacrifices personal plans to accommodate the other.
- Always adjusting to avoid arguments can leave you frustrated and cause you to ignore your own needs and limits.
3. Imbalance becomes clear when the effort stops
- Conversations, meetings, or shared activities stop when one partner no longer initiates them.
- Contributions need to be equal all the time, but both need to be willing to make a consistent effort.
4. Concerns are constantly brushed aside
- Differences in expectations can be worked through when both partners are willing to discuss them openly.
- One partner withdraws from conflicts, refuses to communicate, and only reconnects once the tension subsides, leaving the issue unresolved.
5. Resentment starts replacing affection
- One-sided effort gradually leads to frustration, resentment, emotional exhaustion, or withdrawal.
- Constantly compromising without feeling appreciated may affect self-respect and cause anxiety within the relationship.
What happens if you stay in a one-sided relationship for long?
You may keep giving them the benefit of the doubt, hoping they will change, without realising the toll this is taking on your mental health and emotional wellbeing.
Shireen revealed what happens to your wellbeing in these types of relationships and when you should seek help: “After being exposed to this type of behavior for quite some time, it may even influence sleep, concentration, and overall emotional state. Professional help may become necessary if the stress of the relationship starts impacting a person’s daily activities.”
If the emotional toll becomes overwhelming, she suggested consulting a psychiatrist for persistent anxiety, depression, or sleep problems. If you wish to continue the relationship, however, it is important to acknowledge and address the unhealthy dynamic. She recommended relationship counselling to examine communication expectations, boundaries, and how responsibilities are shared between partners.
And it is good to realise this problem at an early stage, as it will help to avoid resentment, and if necessary pull the chord accordingly.
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.
