Children are hailed as great sources of joy. Parenthood, whether depicted in movies or shaped by societal expectations, is usually seen as something extraordinary, all rosy and full of sunshine. But raising children is not a cakewalk, and the idea of constant joy in parenthood is only half the truth.
Albeit there is no denying that parenting can feel good, it is essential to recognise that reality is not always as perfect as it is depicted or expected. It is not the pristine, inevitable life milestone as it is made out to be.
Did you know that having a child can indirectly backfire in unexpected ways? The common belief that parenthood automatically leads to lasting happiness or better life satisfaction is not always accurate.
A study published in January 2026 in the journal Evolutionary Psychology stated that becoming a parent does not necessarily lead to an increase in happiness or life satisfaction. In fact, it can strain the romantic relationship instead.
What did the study find?
Why is a child brought to the world? Beyond chasing the societal fulfilment or achieving a larger life purpose, there are quieter, more complex expectations at play. At times, a child is seen as a way to fix cracks in a relationship, hoping for some semblance of stability. Raising the child is seen as a way to override the wayward behaviour of an unavailable partner, with the belief that it will make them take the relationship more seriously.
Children do not, by default, with the swish of a magic wand, make parents happier or immediately fulfil emotional needs and other broader life expectations. Instead, the impact is largely neutral. One adverse effect, however, is that romantic relationships between parents can be affected. Ultimately, the couple’s bond may be affected.
One of the researchers from the University of Nicosia noted, “The results do not support our hypothesis that parenthood is positively associated with hedonic wellbeing (levels of positive emotions) and life satisfaction.” It challenges the common belief that children are a guaranteed source of emotional satisfaction.
Takeways
Bringing a child into the world is something far bigger than your own emotional needs, as you are raising a separate human being with their own life and identity. It is not something that will automatically make you happier, as the findings suggest that the overall emotional impact of parenthood remains largely neutral.
Instead, parenting should be viewed as a responsibility that is rooted in commitment, care and discpline. It is not a means to achieve personal happiness.
The study’s experiment found that parents and non-parents have almost the same levels of happiness and life satisfaction. In some cases, parents may feel a bit more ‘purpose’, but that is about it; it is a small difference. Due to stress and mounting responsibilities, a couple’s bond may plummet. But the study is not saying parenting is bad, just that one should be more realistic and stop believing it to be a magical happiness upgrade.
